Last night, I visited the Senior Facility and fed Ernie at the normal dinner hour of 5 PM. As it had been for many weeks, his eyes remained closed and he took in spoonful bites, slowly chewed, and sipped on his juice as I held it up to his lips. He remained in his own world. I found myself getting used to this response or lack of response. There was no conversation back when I talk with him but a good feeling that he was getting nourishment as he continued to take in his solids and fluids. I had become family with the staff and other residents as we sat together in the dining room and I was thankful for this time with Ernie and my “other family.” The mood was always upbeat — no matter what the circumstance.
As I fed Ernie, I recalled the many dinners we had together over the years of our marriage and the interesting conversations that took place between us. I valued his views on the many topics we discussed. He taught me so much and opened my eyes to many things. I had a flashback of one of the last meals we had while he was home. He held my hand, apologized for his disease and told me that he would always love me — even when he was gone. We both cried together and then kissed. That memory was still fresh in my mind and I shared it with Ernie while I scooped up his dinner and patiently put it to his mouth. He then finished his meal and restlessly pulled back from the table. Dinner time was over.
The staff and I walked Ernie over to the sofa where we got him comfortably settled. Sitting with him, my arm around his shoulders, it was his habit to fall into a comfortable nap at which time I would quietly leave for home. To my surprise, instead, Ernie opened his beautiful blue eyes and looked directly into my eyes. I took this moment to connect and told Ernie how much I loved him. With that, Ernie reached up, grabbed the back of my neck, and pulled me in for a truly passionate kiss! Whew! It was a good, romantic kiss — just as it used to be! My heart was pumping, I smiled, he smiled… and then the moment passed. Ernie closed his eyes and off to sleep he went.
Out of the blue, here was another one of those surprises — a precious connecting moment. But this time, it came with a magnificent kiss that will remain etched in my mind forever. Once again, I give thanks.
