Tag Archives: meditation

What Do We Pray For?

18 Jun

My dilemma since Ernie has gone further down the “rabbit hole” of Alzheimer’s Disease is, What words do I use when praying for him? 

My prayer for a long period of time has been, “Let Ernie live with dignity and with quality of life.”  Then, after dignity was taken from him, my prayer became, “Let Ernie live with quality of life and let him feel the love.”  Today, with his inability to take care of himself, recognize his loved ones, his lack of verbal capabilities, frustration, and exhaustion from insomnia,  asking for quality of life becomes ludicrous.

I spoke to a colleague who has a family member suffering with A.D. and she shared that she, too, had the quandary of what to pray for  and now asks God to take her mother.  I fully understand and respect her choice in prayer wording.   I know that when Ernie goes it will be a blessing for him and for me but, at this time, I am not comfortable with asking God to take him — I would rather leave that choice for God to make on His time.  I continue to ask for guidance for whatever is meant to be — but I find it isn’t quite enough.

 I am a Christian who is comfortable with Unity Church’s beliefs and considers myself a spiritual person.  Although I am not Catholic, I reached out to a good friend who is a priest, author, and a lovely human being.  “How can I appropriately word my prayer for my dear husband who is physically but not mentally here with us?” I asked.  Knowing that Andy, who writes, presents inspirational homilies, presides over weddings, christenings, and funerals, would have the appropriate words. He did. 

I would like to share this prayer with others who might find these words comforting:

ERNIE’S PRAYER

Lord, I need words – or do I?

Lord, better, I need gasps,

breaths, moments, holding

my past, my love, better our:

our stories, our memories,

trips, meals, moments, dates,

laughs, resting in each other’s

arms and his scent and sounds.

Who knows what’s next? I don’t.

So I’ll take each moment with

my Ernie. now – the times

he recognizes me and

the times he doesn’t. I do.

That’s all that counts. 
I thank You and I thank him

for the gift  he was / is /

will be to me and Lord,

I thank you for this chance

to serve him, to hold him

and to love him. till the end –

till today, tomorrow and

forever and ever. Amen.

–Fr. Andrew  Costello, good friend and spiritual being

 Need I say more? 

Amen and thank you, Andy.


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