Focus on Can Do

28 Mar

Thought for the day –

Never let what you can’t do interfere with what you can do – Hayes

A friend of mine and author of, Shortcuts to Life’s Secrets, sends out a positive thought each day which I religiously read.  Some days, it fits my circumstances and other days, it just makes me smile!  Today’s thought got my juices flowing for my blog…

We all know that Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease.  It robs one’s intelligence, pride, and independence and creates fear and havoc for  the partner and the families involved.  For three years, I lived under a dark cloud while dealing with the ups and downs of Ernie’s memory loss.  After the shock of his diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, our world became a series of negative thoughts and waiting for the next shoe to fall.  I was occupied 24-7  with fixing financial messes, household problems, medical consultations, communication and relationship challenges, and dealing with anger and depression.  All I could see was my husband’s disease and what was lost.  The more I focused on his losses and what he could not do, the more stressful life got!

With the help of a good friend’s kind advice to “stop focusing on the negatives and start finding the positives” despite the disease, I worked to change my perspective.  I asked  myself, What still works?  What can we still do together? How can we create happiness with such a sad situation?   My husband could still take long walks, communicate on lighter issues, smile, laugh, make funny jokes, and dance at weddings.  He could ride with me while doing errands, push the grocery cart, join me for dinner with good friends, and sit and enjoy movies, music, and concerts.  He could still hold my hand, hug me, and snuggle up on the sofa with me.  These were the things he still could do.

Today, as I visit Ernie at his assisted living facility, we continue to do what we still can do.  Although it is more limited, we take walks, smile, laugh and hold hands.  I occasionally bring him home for the weekend to make a special meal for him, watch a light movie, hold his hand at night, and enjoy our coffee together in the morning.  These are the things that we still CAN enjoy together.   And even though I realize that some of these can do’s will fade with the progression of his A.D., it is my goal to keep looking for what still can be done.

Hayes, thank you for your thought today.  Hopefully, it affects many of your readers and my readers the same way it has affected me.

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2 Responses to “Focus on Can Do”

  1. frangipani March 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this positive note, and showing us how it can be better!

  2. Linda Patton March 30, 2012 at 10:53 am #

    Hi Yes, I agree focus on the good, only sometimes in the muddle of life changes that is not always the easiest thing to do. But something to always strive for. I believe it is also important to channel ones energy, so we have it to give to someone else. Also not always easy. The very best to you and yours. Hugs

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